Ciao, Italia!

Talk about mixed emotions…this will be my farewell post, the one in which I divulge my feelings and reflections on the semester past, and reveal the raw emotion I am feeling about my soon-to-be post-Italy life. It sounds cliché but I’m not really sure where to begin my discussion on the last three months—first I must recall everything we did, then I must come to a concise, well-stated conclusion of my feelings on all of those activities. Wherein lies my problem—how in the world am I supposed to compact all the emotions, lessons, observations, and feelings of my semester abroad into one neat, well written final statement? I can’t. This is why I will now leave you with a slightly messy though honest effort in writing about my dissection of this past semester.

February 1 a dream came true for me—I landed in Italy to spend the next three months studying, playing, and living in this exceptionally beautiful country. I may have mentioned it before, but Italy has been the number one country on my list of places to visit since I even came up with a list of places to visit. What I didn’t yet realize was just how special my semester abroad would turn out to be.

My current feelings are that this semester has been one very surreal moment in my life; a moment that I fear will be left here in time, only referred to as a past, closed chapter in my life that will never be fully believable. It still hasn’t hit me that I am in Italy and I have spent over three months here; I’m not sure I will ever believe it.

Remember the cycle of emotions that students generally experienced with their study abroad experience that I talked about in my first blog post? Well, I’m pretty sure I have experienced each and every one of them twice over in the past three months, and am only now coming into the “content” stage of being here. Italy has become life for me; it is familiar now, it is what I know and what I do. Now, before I’m ready, I have to pick it all up and move back to the States. I’m sure that I will transition back into life at home faster and easier than I can imagine, and that terrifies me. I don’t want it to be easy. I want to struggle to let go of certain Italian-ways and continue others even at home. I want to question and challenge my life in the States because of what I have been exposed to here in Europe.

We have completed an amazing amount of activity this semester; looking back on the many, many excursions we took and the amount of authentic Italian culture and life I was exposed to shocks me. I am finally realizing the benefits of studying abroad with a small group of people in a small town; because of it I have been fortunate enough to meet some incredible individuals and have experienced up close in person things that most will never have the opportunity to experience no matter how many times they travel to Europe. I was handed on a silver-platter the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to experience the best of Italy, and have been more than pleased with my experience. The integration of our classes in the palazzo with our excursions as a group was done so seamlessly, each lesson learned in the classroom supported with an excursion in the “real Italy.” We were given several opportunities for independent travel which boosted my confidence in my personal travel skills, and allowed me to have a lot of fun with the friends I have made this semester. I have traveled all over Tuscany and a few places beyond; I have been connected with a fun and supportive host-family; I have met Italian girls my own age who are sweet and welcoming of the Americans who have come into their town; I have been able to help out in an Italian high school and witness a raw account of young Italian life; I have seen ceramics and paper being made; I have participated in unique Italian traditions; I have eaten some of the best food of my entire life; most importantly, I have learned something about myself and my standing in this great, big, vast world of ours—that there is so much to see and do and live, and that I want to be a life-long traveler.

I know that I will not realize the full extent of how lucky I have been, the lessons I have learned about myself and life, and of just how much I will miss it here until I am home again and unable to come back for who knows how long. Thankfully our final dinner as a full group last week opened my eyes a little bit to just what an amazing experience I have been blessed with, and therefore I have made sure to take my last week to soak it all up and enjoy it while it lasts. As the old saying goes, “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”

I will come back some day. I will return to Sansepolcro, if only to eat at the Goblin Gelateria again (hands down best fondente flavored gelato in the world). Until then, I will hold this place dear to my heart and only hope that the pictures I have taken and the memories in my head do it justice once I am home.

Ciao Italia,

Hilary